- I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
- Half the people you know are below average.
- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- 42.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
Funny quotes from Stephen Wright
From yet another email I received!
